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Trying to Live a Life that is Full - and sometimes writing about it ad nauseam.

Monday, March 23, 2009

A Hillbilly Christmas Treat

Last year I heard tales that it is quite spectacular to keep one's (real) Christmas tree until the summer and then burn it. And the wheels, they started a turnin' in my head. And this last Christmas I just happened to decide, for the first time in about five years, to buy a real Christmas tree. So on January 2, I deposited said Christmas tree on my back patio and just let it lay there. Sure, I could have put it in my garage to dry out but where's the fun in that? For the last three and a half months that tree has laid on that patio as a sad reminder of how horrible Brian and I are at the whole "curb appeal" concept.

This past weekend my sister Lanie and her family came to visit. They spent the night at our house Friday and then the plan was to move the party to my brother Tim's glorious slice of heaven way out in the country on Saturday. We'll call his homestead "Schmucktopia." Schmucktopia is 19 acres of private grounds, surrounded by trees which are surrounded by corn fields. They have a fire ring area out back where the stars shine more brightly than you can imagine and happiness abounds. Robust political debates are had. (Tim is right-wing, I am left-wing. Together we make a chicken.) The dogs roam freely and Reggie gets muddy and the frogs sing their mighty song. And the time had come to burn the Christmas tree.

We hauled the tree over there and Saturday night we gathered every person by the fire to watch the ceremonial burning. I wanted the tree to stand up straight in the middle of the bonfire but Brian and Tim thought I was crazy (considering that the fire had been already built up to an unsafe level). Brian grabbed the tree and I waited with baited breath. All chairs were moved far away from the fire and all humans were behind them (I don't know what we thought was going to happen). Brian threw the tree on the fire...and that darn tree just kept jumping off the fire into Brian's arms where he attempted to throw the tree back on. After dancing around with the flaming tree for several rounds we finally screamed at him to "LET IT GO!" And that tree took off and it was all I had dreamt of. 25 foot flames, loud crackling, wild sparks flying, small children shrieking in fear. Three minutes later it was all done. And it was totally worth it; every second of it. If only I had 10 trees to burn. It was that good. I would highly recommend this to all of you who deal in real Christmas trees. And perhaps you all already knew this and wonder why I haven't tried it before. I was a rookie this year...but next year, I might even buy two trees.

4 comments:

Nate said...

What a funny cousin I have. Brian let go!! 8)
One thought about setting the tree on fire, lace it with fireworks. Mom convinced Dad to do it once. It was fun to set up the fireworks and light the tree!! 8)

Deeb said...

We do this every year. It really sells the point of watering your tree on a regular basis! This year we actually cut our tree in the middle of Dec so we had to wait a long time to burn it because it won't burn if it is fresh-trust me on this one, one year it the darn tree would not burn!! Anyway, we did it in town this year and for thiry seconds I couldn't breath for fear of the fire dept coming!

LISA LYNNE said...

I just knew there were Troyers who already took part in this crazy tradition. And FIREWORKS!!! That is the best idea I have ever heard. Was it dangerous? Did anyone get hurt? Because that would make the whole thing so much cooler.

Deeb said...

The fireworks sound fun but I'm remembering that they didn't work too well. The rockets didn't even go up because they burned up too quickly. However the popping loud ones worked good. That's my memory though.