First Poo-Free Washing

Since I spent copious amounts of time on Fat Tuesday washing my hair, I did not wash it yesterday (the first day of Lent).  So today was the first washing with baking soda and apple cider vinegar.  And tomorrow I have a hair appointment.  Thus, my Lenten exercise is going to start off with a bit of a hiccup because my hair dresser is going to wash my hair.  I briefly considered taking in my bottle of baking soda mix to have her use, but I think she would look askance at that.  In fact, I don't think I'll tell her of my plan because she will probably hair-dresser-divorce me. 

The results of the first washing: it didn't feel like I washed my hair at all.  I didn't like it.  It just sort of felt like I was pouring water on my head.  It doesn't feel as clean as normal, but, maybe I'll develop a new normal.  I blow dried it and here's what I look like:

I guess it looks clean enough, but I'm not quite sure yet what I think.

Also, just for fun, here's a picture of a.) a throw pillow with a tiny head, or b.) my giant cat.  I report, you decide.

 

 What you can't tell from this shot is that her entire body is covering a floor vent and she is vampiring all the heat that is supposed to warm the guest room.  I tried putting her on a diet but all that happened is that my other cat almost starved to death because she ate all his food.  Oh Maggie, what will become of you? 

Poo Free

Happy Ash Wednesday!  Every year I struggle to find something meaningful to give up for Lent.  I really admire the idea behind giving something up - to draw closer to God - to examine the practices and material goods we have become dependent on in our daily living - even if it's not done for religious reasons.  And so often I end up giving up on giving something up because it seems too difficult to find that perfect transformational experience. 

A few weeks ago I was kicking around the idea of going shampoo and conditioner free.  I had read several forums and blog posts about it and it sounds, well, at the least really interesting.  (There is a great article on how to do this at simplemom.net.)  Most of what I've read claims that your head will not become a grease pit, but that in fact you will have hair that is in the best condition ever.  (Hmmm, I am sort of vain about said hair.)  To sum it up, you wash your hair with baking soda and you condition it with apple cider vinegar.  How cheap and easy can you get?  And you aren't pouring horrible chemicals on your head and you help the environment?  No brainer.  

I brought it up to my knitting group (always full of wise counsel and up for good adventure) and they suggested I take the leap for Lent.  That way, I am giving it a fair shake but have an ending date if it doesn't work out.  I loved the idea immediately.

And then I got a little crazy.  There is so much good information out there about the dangers of the chemicals we use in cleaning our homes and our bodies.  Not only that, but there are really easy, cheap, and natural ingredients we can use as an alternative.  I went to the library and pulled out books with recipes.  I went to the health food store and went berserk.  I stopped at the grocery store and bought all the vinegar and baking soda they had.  (Just kidding...although I stocked up.)  I've already started mixing up my own laundry detergent.  Today I made fabric softener.  Two days ago I started using the oil cleansing method on my face.  (I'll admit, this one SCARES ME TO DEATH.) 

But I can't help feel like all these things are still just token moves, just drops in the environmental bucket.  And I need to find a balance.  I don't know where to stop.  For instance, yesterday I read a forum where women were exclaiming how wonderful reusable feminine hygiene products are and why don't all women use them and why would you want to kill mother earth by not using them and OMG when are you going to start using them?  It had not really occurred to me that I should be seeking an alternative and now I feel just horrible.  Am I literally going to have to go sit in a red tent every month now?  Every time I hear about something new, I can't un-hear it, and then I feel I have a responsibility to respond.  I can't eat my beloved Swiss Cake Rolls without feeling a tremendous amount of guilt because I just know that they are filled with things that are just HORRIBLE for me, not to mention the packaging.  Oh my lands, THE PACKAGING! 

I'm going to take a deep breath now. 

All better. 

But you see what I'm saying about this balance issue.  I want to try to live responsibly - in regards to the environment, our health, and the old pocket-book - but I also want to enjoy the good things in life (i.e. Swiss Cake Rolls) and enjoy my time here on this planet. 

At any rate, yesterday was Fat Tuesday and since it was my last day to shampoo, I lived it up.  Hope you did the same.  My hope is that if you are giving up something for Lent, it might be an enlightening experience. 

Sticks and Stones...*Warning: Feminist Rant to Follow*

“All right, ladies, let’s get to work. I called you a lady to humiliate you. It’s a motivational tactic we coaches use.” - Sponge Bob Square Pants

Something has been bothering me a lot in the last few years and it seems like I'm becoming more and more aware of it - and more sensitive about it. I am sick and tired of men cutting each other down by, in essence, calling someone a female. It occurs in a lot of different ways, and by using many different phrases. And I can barely stomach it anymore. Some examples of phrases I have recently heard, from one man to another man, (and they aren't pretty):

"Don't be a girl."

"Quit being a pussy!" (We all know this means "don't be a vagina" which at its very essence means, "don't be a woman.")

"Man up."  (This one may not fit, but just sort of bothers me.)

"What are you? A woman?"

"Come on now, hike up your skirt and play."

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon string?"

There are a lot of other variations I hear that I shan't repeat here because of their vulgarity (as if the above were not vulgar enough). This drivel is unbelievable to me. Would we tell each other, or our children, not to be a black person, or a Jew, or a dirty Arab? I imagine a lot of people still do, but generally the circles I move in don't do that. But those same people (even those who are followers of Jesus) don't hesitate to throw out these little barbs of latent sexism when they wouldn't do the same regarding race.  And these are good people, people I love and even admire.  But what bothers me most is that these are men who have daughters, who are married to - and presumably love - a woman, who have mothers.  Why is this okay? 

I've heard people come back with: well, of course, a man shouldn't be something other than a man, shouldn't try to be something other than a man, and that's all these phrases allude to.   

Nice try.  We all know that this kind of language means that being a woman is "less than."  This language means that women are weak, both emotionally and physically and that there are no qualities in women that should be emulated.  It means being anything like a woman is something one should avoid at all costs, lest you be seen as weak, useless, expendable. 

It is a futile battle that I fight to get the men around me to take this seriously.  (And even most women.)  They think I'm being such a typical "girl" about it, that I'm being way too sensitive, that there's no harm in this good-natured ribbing.  (Even Brian thinks I'm off my rocker about this one.  He tries not to speak this way simply because he doesn't want to hear me rant for five minutes, not because he actually embraces what I'm saying.)  But this isn't good-natured ribbing.  This type of talk settles into our psyche, becomes part of our culture and society, and shapes our expectations of what we can become.  Look around you at how it doesn't even occur to most women to be offended at this talk!  Is it because we view ourselves this way that we simply accept it?

We have finally reached a point in our society where it is okay to raise little girls more like boys.  They can be good at sports, wear pants, get dirty, be good at math and science, and have strong wills.  I would say, typical masculine qualities.  But we are still not okay with little boys being raised in any way that resembles feminine qualities.  I don't think that women and men share identical characteristics - and viva la difference - I don't want us to be the same.  But when will we start to actually value the wonderful characteristics of females - or at the very least, not see them as the very worst? 

Celebrating Love

This post is a bit late considering that it began on February 14 and the subject matter is the oh-so-controversial topic of Valentine's Day. 

You see, I began this post while Brian was at work on the great day of love, but the day took a bit of an unexpected turn.  Here's the story.

Every year as Valentine's Day approaches, Brian and our friend Dan begin ranting and raving about how it's a made-up holiday created by the card companies to make men spend money.  While it has been exploited by the card companies, it certainly wasn't created by them.  And if it was - so what?  Is there anything wrong with having one day a year that we recognize love and the great gift it is to us human beings - and not just romantic love, but love in general?  What would life be without relationships that lend meaning to our existence and provide us with joy and nurturing?  I think that holidays in general break the tedium of everyday life.  Which is why I look forward to St. Patrick's Day with zeal and hit haunted houses every Halloween!  We need these little spots of levity to keep our lives from growing dreary.  So a day honoring love isn't such a bad thing in my opinion.

But whenever the topic is brought up Brian has this go-to phrase he likes to say.  It goes something like this: "Why should I have to do something special for Lisa on Valentine's Day?  I celebrate our love every day." 

And every time he says it I think: Oh really?  Pray tell, what is this daily celebration you speak of?  What are these ceremonies and festivities that are taking place commemorating our great love each day?  Because if you're partying it up over our love each day, I don't think you've invited me to the celebration. 

Now, I know, I know, celebrating can be in the small things, blah, blah, blah.  However, it might be more appropriate to say that he lives in a state of gratitude for our love each day.  Expressing that love and gratitude in small ways.  (Perhaps in the way he leaves his slippers on the dresser every night, or eats all the yummy food in the house?  Just kidding!  No, he really does those things but I know it's not out of love.)  He's very good at expressing love and acting out in love in so many ways each day.  It just sort of hurts my feelings when he acts like it's the hugest burden in the world to spend a day really celebrating it, like it's not worth whooping it up over our relationship for a day.

But I'm used to the attitude, I kind of get it, and I'm not sore about it and I don't harbor secret expectations.  So this Valentine's Day I set about making a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs for our romantic supper.  (Because I take all my romantic cues from "Lady and the Tramp.")  And Brian was happy.  (He loves spaghetti!)  And we had a lovely dinner and I was feeling quite satisfied.

Then he goes and brings this out of the kitchen:

The prettiest, sweetest little Valentine's Day ring ever!  (He knows I have a thing for rings - as in I crazy love them.)  Maybe because it hasn't been automatic all of these years to receive a gift, this one felt really special.  It was so out of the blue, such a pure surprise, that it brought so much more joy than if I had been expecting a Valentine's Day token or gift.

No, next year I won't be expecting that he has to get me a gift.  If he does I'll be happy but if not, I'll still know that I'm loved.  Maybe by our 25th Valentine's Day together we'll finally have this figured out...but if not, I'll always have 2011.