Marriage: 1 a (1): the state of being united to a person as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.
Retreat: 1 a (1): an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.
This weekend Brian and I are attending a marriage retreat sponsored by our church. We will be withdrawing from the difficult, dangerous, and disagreeable state of being married from 6:00 p.m. Friday evening through Sunday at noon. And can I just say that it is much needed.
Alright, there might just be another definition of retreat: 3: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director.
That's more like it. We will be getting away to focus for a few days on strengthening our marriage. I feel really energized by this idea. Even though I think that Brian and I have a pretty strong relationship, there are always things that we could improve - and why wouldn't we want to do that? Why wouldn't we want the best possible marriage?
I am mystified at some of the responses I've been getting to going to this retreat. Most involve laughter, derision, and feelings of sympathy directed at Brian. Oh yes, poor, poor Brian. His wife loves him enough to want to spend a weekend with him improving the quality of their relationship. I know he feels like, "we're fine - so why can't we just keep putzing along in the exact same fashion that we currently operate in."
But then there are responses of interest and well-wishes by other individuals who have had wonderful experiences at retreats or just think it sounds like a great idea. One lovely woman at church wrote us a note urging us to "pretend you are way up in Alaska without a care in the world." Nevermind that if I were in Alaska right now I would probably have many cares: avoiding getting attacked by bears, trying to keep my log cabin warm, living without any sunlight, etc... But she is taking the idea of withdrawing and retreating to a whole new level. I love it. I'll probably pretend I am on a warm, sunny beach. (Note to self: pack swimsuit.)
I don't know what this weekend will hold. I hope it doesn't include: Brian and I fighting in front of others, me crying during group exercises, Brian screaming "I RETREAT, I RETREAT," or divorce. I hope we come out the other side renewed, with fresh ideas and perspectives. I hope it's the ultimate Valentine's weekend.
5 comments:
I fully support you going to a marriage retreat! and Brian better have gone along and participated and learned something, too! It's not that your marriage is broken, it's to make it even better. Who can argue with that? except maybe your father-in-law...
How was it? I've almost signed John & me up for marriage retreats several times. We both like the idea of investing in our relationship, but then we get scared of the unknown and chicken out.
Linda, try this:
Your marriage is like your digital camera. It works well, is reliable, does everything you want it to do, is way above the neighbor's dinky digital camera that is in their cell phone.
The marriage retreat is the camera catalog that shows you how much more spectacular just the next model up is. All it takes is that little extra step to get it. Who knew you could be missing out on so much?!?
After the retreat you get this even better camera with stunning picture quality that just leaves you amazed. Technology, ahem, marriage is so wonderful.
And, yes, I've been around John way too much! :-)
Well, to everyone's surprise and amazement, we attended a Marriage Encounter weekend eons ago. It was run by the Catholic church in Alberta, and we did glean a few things from it. At any rate, we've been at this for almost 36 years :)
I think it's fabulous to believe enough in your marriage to want to make it better and better. Besides, we can ALL use a little help to strengthen ourselves and our relationships. (yes, this is the social worker talking... :) )
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