Not So Welcome

One of the fun outings I had this summer was attending Stitches Midwest, just outside of Chicago with members of my knitting group.  I referred to this event with friends and family as a "yarn convention" because it seemed easier for them to understand.  There were classes on various techniques available to take, but basically, we were there to shop.  And shop I did.  I was overwhelmed by all the yarn that surrounded me.  Beautiful yarn.  Lucious yarn.  Soft yarn.  Yarn that was hand dyed, yarn that was hand spun, yarn that was calling my name gently with its siren song.  And then there were all the knitting accessories: things to store your needles in, buttons, pattern holders, lint rollers, yarn stashers.  I wandered around like a country bumpkin who is spending her first day in the big city - wide eyed and a little lost - but knowing that her world will never be the same. 

But enough about yarn.  Because the real story here is about the fabulous weekend spent with my delightful yarn sisters in a lovely home in Hinsdale, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago.  Originally we were going to stay in the hotel attached to the convention center but then we were offered the home of Linda's son.  The family was out of town and they said we could stay.  And the home was absolutely lovely...and in a neighborhood I would never be welcome to live in.  It made the weekend absolutely fantastic!  We sat around and talked and LAUGHED and just enjoyed ourselves immensely as only a whacky bunch of knitters can do. 

I drove up with Linda on Thursday, arriving before the rest of the group, meaning I could have first pick of the bedrooms.  Now several weeks earlier Linda had mentioned that she had informed her youngest grandson, Neil, that her friends were going to be staying at their house and that someone would be sleeping in his bed.  His reply: "I don't like anyone sleeping in my bed."  Linda told him it would be fine.

So when we arrive Linda tells me to head upstairs and that I can choose from either Neil or Paul's (her oldest grandson) bedrooms.  When I entered the first bedroom I immediately knew that it was Neil's.  I laughed out loud, put my stuff in Paul's room and headed back downstairs.  I told Linda, "I think I'll be staying in Paul's room.  You should check out Neil's.  I think he was serious about not wanting anyone to sleep in his bed." 

This is what welcomed us:

A tiny army of soldiers was lined up pointing at the bed. 

The bed was being guarded by Imperial Walkers and you can see that the bed was covered with difficult to move Lego armies.

Here is another shot of the perfect semicircle of soldiers aimed at the bed.

A hill of canons and snipers.

Clearly, Neil had put a great deal of thought and energy into "welcoming" the lucky knitter to his room.  I can't imagine how long it must have taken him to line up all those little soldiers and to create this fortress of protection in his space!  All in all, it's quite subtle wouldn't you say? 

Too Much Information

You may think this is too much information and if you are frightened, stop reading at this point.  However, the following sort of amused me.  I will try to be as delicate as I can.

So today I canned tomatoes with my mom.  After most of the tomatoes were in their jars and waiting for their merry little water bath, I asked my mom if I could have some ibuprofen.  She said sure, and as I padded off to the bathroom to procure the tablets she asked, "Do you have a headache?"  I replied "no."

When I returned to the kitchen she said, "You know the Amish say you should never can tomatoes when you are menstruating because your jars won't seal." 

I sort of wish she would have mentioned that before I nearly sabotaged our entire batch of tomatoes. 

For the record, the tomatoes sealed. 

But we may not be out of the woods yet.

When I went to my knitting group (after canning) I mentioned what I had been doing that afternoon.  I didn't, of course, mention the delicate matter mentioned above.  Wouldn't you know, one of the women brought up this old wives' tale.  How have I gone my whole life without being aware of this information?

I wondered to myself if it could be hormonal,  perhaps a chemical that escapes through the pores.  There had to be a scientific explanation for this sage wisdom.  So I researched a little.  Turns out that even though our jars sealed, we are still in danger of those tomatoes spoiling in the jar.  AND, I shouldn't have even walked into the garden today because women who are in their oh-so-special "time of the month" are NOT to be around the crops - ESPECIALLY tomatoes or cucumbers!  And heaven forbid you can the cucumbers during that time because it sounds like all kinds of bad things will happen. 

But you can walk around the cabbage.  It might even be good for the cabbage.

One theory I read is that women back in the day, often with many young children and a demanding husband, had to find ways to take a break.  It's the old Red Tent idea.  They claimed it would spoil the food, ruin the canning process, whatever, and then they were able to take a load off.  I really hope this is the case rather than a fearful male population thinking that women are unclean. 

At any rate, I apologize to my dear mother if we all end up with botulism.

Whip It Good

I am 32 years old.  I am staring a dream right smack dab in the face.  And now that I have the opportunity to make this dream come true...I'm pretty sure I'm going to chicken out.

Since being introduced to roller derby I have been fascinated by it.  Who of us hasn't been?  Fearless women flaunting both their femininity and their fierce strength shamelessly.  Granted, the roller derby I was exposed to had all the integrity of WWF wrestling.   But still, something about it seemed raw and exciting.

Then "Whip It" hit the theaters (a movie about a young woman who joins a roller derby team).  I heard an interview with some of the actors on NPR and just had to go see it.  I dragged Brian.  I laughed, I cried, I was enchanted.  I wanted to be a roller derby queen.  I started telling everyone I knew how awesome it would be.  I quized them on what my roller derby name should be.

Then, a month ago one of my knitting friends forwards me an email.  Warsaw is trying to start a roller derby team!  WHAT!?!?!?  She had not known of my secret dream.  One of her friends is the captain.  She gives me the scoop.  She invites me to an informational meeting.  I decide, what the heck, why not at least check it out.

So last Wednesday I attended an informational meeting of the Lake City Derby Dolls.  I thoroughly believed that attending that meeting would be the end of my roller derby run, that I wouldn't actually consider carrying it any further.  But, I left that meeting PUMPED.  The first things the captain said were, "The women's flat track roller derby league is a non-profit organization, any proceeds go to designated charities, many of them for women.  And, when I first heard about this I thought, I'm not really athletic, I'm kind of a wuss, and I haven't been on skates for ages.  But I discovered I can do it.  And basically this is a really fun way of getting great exercise, helping out some great causes, and meeting a lot of great women."  AWESOME!  She basically addressed everyone of my misgivings. 

Saturday night I attended a bout (roller derby game) in Fort Wayne to see what it's all about.  It wasn't violent.  No elbows were being thrown.  There seemed to be good cameraderie between the women on opposing teams.  It looked so much less intimidating then I had imagined.  To be sure, I was swimming in a sea of fish net stockings.  And the names!  The names were fantastic.  Turbo Trixi, Chyna Syndrome, Dolly Pardon My Knocks, Bang Bang Ladesh, Alotta Attitude...and a couple that maybe weren't so appropriate.

So now, I'm faced with the decision to try it out or not.  Did I just talk a good game?  When opportunity came knocking on my door did I turn out the lights and pretend I wasn't home?  I am kind of a wuss.  BUT, I love a good bruise.  One could say I'm proud of them in fact.  And let's face it - I'm 32 years old.  I'm not getting any younger.  Will this be one of those moments that when I'm 73 I'll look back and think, "Why didn't I just try it?"  Will I look back with regret at those chances in life that I let fear keep me from taking?  So, I think I'll go to a practice.  Even if I never play in a bout, I can say I went for it.

And now, two questions remain:
1. Where do I get fishnets?
2. What should my roller derby name be? 

I feel like I'd like to give a nod to my anabaptist roots.  Perhaps, Menno Militia or Patty Pass-a-fist...I'm open to suggestions.

Update on Life

The Olympics are WAY done and still I have not gotten back into the swing of blogging.  But I'm going to blame my blog-laziness on them.  Stupid Olympics. 

BUT, here is a picture of my Olympic hat.  (Never mind how scary Brian may look...he is attempting to look happy for me.)  You may have seen this hat on the US Olympians in the opening ceremonies as well as on certain athletes while standing around in the snow.  Me and my knitting friends spotted the hat immediately and decided we MUST learn how to knit it.  Thankfully, our local yarn store owner went to town creating a chart and voila! the hat is mine.  It involved me tying yarn to my kitchen mixer and attempting to create twisted cord for the tassles, which I must say worked swimmingly.  However, the yarn shop owner rejected them (claiming they were too tight) and made me twist tassles by hand in her store.  How humiliating.  And my moose are dimply.  I am not happy about that.  I'll just have to make another one so that Brian and I can match.  :)

In March we hosted a mystery supper for our church youth group.  If you have never been to one you must.  They are tons of fun.  Or maybe you should host one but if you do, you may want to hire extra help.  Here is the menu just to give you an idea of what it entails.

Welcome to our Mystery Dinner. Dinner will consist of three courses. For each course please select 6 items from the menu below. Place the numbers that correspond to the items you've selected, in the spaces next to the letters below. No duplicates allowed! You will be served only those items selected for each course.


Among the items you are to select are such items as your utensils, beverages, and your napkin. You must make all of your course selections before the meal begins and turn this form into your maitre de.

We hope you enjoy your meal (if you can figure out what you are ordering). Good luck!

MYSTERY MENU

1. The fourth item required to summon Captain Planet

2. Racial Harmony

3. Poultry’s Sin

4. A tricky Situation

5. The Cat’s Meow

6. Prison Enemy

7. Immature Biscuit

8. Early Hodgepodge

9. Warm Snuggles

10. Dangerous to Cut

11. Particle Maintenance

12. Yellow Surfboard

13. Fork

14. Sleepy relative

15. Forest river

16. Tot’s Money Maker

17. Ebony’s Embrace

18. Beatles Favorite Crop

And here is what we served (not in the order of the menu above):

Deviled egg, cheese, pickle, napkin, lasagna, tossed salad, garlic bread, lemonade, fork, spoon, toothpick, knife, brownie cheesecake, cream of broccoli soup, hershey kiss, and strawberries.

Brian and I were so in control leading up to this event.  We went to the store on Tuesday evening and then spent the whole night prepping our food.  We were in such good shape that when we got home on Wednesday evening we sort of paced around for awhile waiting to put the food in the oven or to assemble things.  We became totally arrogant with our advanced preparation thinking it was going to be a breeze.  And then the 12 people present turned in their menus and HOLY COW! I felt like we began a sprint that did not end for 1.5 hours.  We totally underestimated how much work it would be to assemble everyone's plates.  And people were hungry and grumbly and Brian and I were frantically trying to decode menus and put plates together.  We also underestimated how many plates we would need.  Brian was washing dishes as we went.  I cannot describe the chaos that went on in that kitchen on that night.  You would weep and scream if you knew the horrors.  (Notice the blanket hanging over the kitchen doorway so the horrors could not be witnessed.)  But I think it was successful...I think the youth had fun but frankly I simply didn't have time to check in on that.

This is an "after" picture.  I don't know if you can see how dazed and shell-shocked I am from the experience.  Also notice that I am sitting on the floor.  When I mentioned sitting on the couch to rest my weary bones there were immediately 11 teenagers on the couch. The kids were awesome though.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.


I went to another wonderful show at the Morris with my theater going friend Heather.  We saw "Rain" a Beatles tribute show.  It was like going to the best sing along imaginable.  Nothing but fun.  And the show was done in a clever way so that you could sort of imagine what it would have been like to see the Beatles in each stage of their run together.  (i.e. the Ed Sullivan set, the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band era and look, etc.)  However, there were several people in the audience taking pictures on phones and other cameras  and Heather and I were like, ummm, you do realize that's not really the Beatles up there right? 

On the way back to Heather's house we realized how very animated we can get in our conversations when Heather glanced to her left at a stoplight and saw a young man hanging out his window mimicking our gesticulations.  Our conversation had been about the Olympics.  We are both very passionate, what can I say?

That about brings us up to the present.  This past weekend was Easter and what a great weekend it turned out to be.  My parents returned home from Texas on Wednesday night.  My sister and her family came to spend the weekend with us which is always so much fun.  Our good friends Dan and Felicia and Colin came and had a bonfire with us Saturday night.  Dan and Felicia came to church on Sunday and joined my family for dinner and it was just such a fun and awesome weekend!  Made so much better by Kevin's neverending stream of joke telling all weekend.  Therefore, I end this blog with my favorite Kevin joke of the weekend.

Two peanuts were walking down the street.
And one was a-salted.

Just Another Boring Blog

Here's a little update on the goings-on at the Showalter residence this week. Frankly, it's a bit boring. I've become a boring person. Oh well, I guess there are worse things to become - like a horrible, ugly, jerk. I'll take boring.

Knittery: I'll start with a week ago Saturday. I got up early (8:45 a.m.), on my own, without crying or whining, on a Saturday morning to go...to a knit-in at my local yarn store! I was a little nervous considering I wouldn't know anyone there. Would I fit in? Would they think my project was lame or that my stories were dull? Would they tell me, in as many words, that my kind was not welcome? When I got home at noon Brian asked how it was and I replied, "It was only the best time ever." Something about sitting around knitting with a bunch of people and having idle and interesting chit-chat, enjoying each others company and admiring their work is so relaxing and energizing. Conversation ranged from knitting projects to books we're reading to bras. Even though these are strangers conversation is easy and enjoyable. We do, after all share a common interest which is a good start. And everyone is pretty much looking at their hands, lest they drop a stitch, which provides a safety in sharing. None of this intense eye-contact business. They meet the first Saturday of the month and I intend to become a regular.

Here's the project I finished that day. I call it my "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" bag. Because it's really the first project I've done completely on my own.



Cleanery: Last week was spring break around here, so I didn't have piano lessons. And the weather was beautiful and it made me want to spring clean. And so on Monday I turned into a mean, cleaning machine. (Here's where that "I've turned into a boring person" really comes into play.) I had to pick and choose my projects because I so wanted to turn this house upside down in my cleaning frenzy. But I got a lot done. What is it about a day of thorough cleaning that makes me feel like a productive and worthwhile citizen? Wow that was rewarding. I really need to wash my windows though. I'm embarrassed to say how long it's been. But the last time I did it a bird immediately flew into my clean window and dropped dead. I decided it was a sign from God that I should not have clean windows. But I think even Jesus would be shaking his head in disgust at the current state of my windows.

Friendery: We've recently started playing Rummy with friends of ours, which is a darn good time. That's how old and boring we've gotten. But I also had a great time at the Theater with my friend Heather on Friday night. We saw a great production of "Annie." Which leads me to...

Vacationery: On Saturday morning we had the most lovely and fun Easter breakfast with my family. We had to have Easter breakfast a day early because I then had to get Brian to Da-Lite so he could catch a flight to Holland. Again. (Over Easter? Really Da-Lite?) So he's trotting around Amsterdam right now and I have another week of solitude. Although this time I'm not quite as excited about it. I talked to him a few minutes ago and told him to tell me what he's seen. All he could say was, "Well, we've seen everything...You know." No, I don't know. Name some names. Give some detail. "Well, we've just seen a bunch of stuff. Everything really." Thank you for such a compelling and detailed account of your travels abroad. I can't wait to hear more about you seeing "stuff" and talking to "people" about "things." But, after finding out that he would be heading to Europe again Brian didn't feel any compunction about Heather and I heading to England!!! So, plane tickets have been purchased and travel guides bought and Heather and I are making plans to have tea with the Queen! (The last part is a lie but I would like a spot of tea while there.)

Pettery: So, for now it's just me and the animals around here. After the trip to the vet last week with Fitty, I now have another animal with undignified itching. Reggie's hind-end seems to be giving him trouble. So tonight I shall don my rubber gloves and attempt to do some unpleasant veterinary-type procedures and see if I can heal him. It should be a very fulfilling evening.

That's all for now. More boring blogs to follow...

The Flair Fairy Has Struck Again

The Flair Fairy continues his or her sneaky work at church, further intriguing me. Who in the world can this possibly be?

My most recent pieces of flair:

My sister suggested that I should knit an item such as a hat or scarf to place these wonderful buttons on. I think that's a FANTASTIC idea. What to knit, what to knit...

A Little Knittery Update

My sister was here this weekend and we have both become huge fiber fanatics. She is probably a bigger fiber fanatic than I am. And it is oodles of fun to have somebody here who totally gets my obsession and can talk fiber lingo with me. And she brought a hysterically funny knitting book from her library, Mason Dixon Knitting (they also have a website here). I sat at my dining room table and read bits of the book that would make me giggle with joy, and then I would share the excerpt with my sister who would giggle with me...and admittedly our giggles sound creepily a lot alike. And our husbands would look at us and then at each other feeling lost, and say, "I don't get it." Which would make Lanie and I laugh even harder. The book even had a section that was written as if for the characters of The Red Tent which is one of my favorite books of all time. I could have died and gone to heaven, it was the funniest thing I have read in ages.

AND, my local yarn store was having a customer appreciation night on Friday and so my sister joined me and I bought yarn and it was delightful. So we sat together and I knit and Lanie crocheted and all was right in the Showalter house. Here are projects I completed this weekend:

I finally finished my socks! Hooray!

And here is my uneasy male model, Brian. His hat I had made him was just too small. It fit my nephew, Casey, really well. So I gave his hat away and it made Brian really sad. So I knit him up a new one and he is quite pleased...and so am I.

Where Did January Go?

Basically for the month of January, I hibernated. I slept a lot, watched a lot of movies snuggled under blankets, and, oh yeah, I knit a lot. In fact I knit instead of blogging...or reading, or checking email, or reconciling my checkbook, or talking to Brian, or cleaning, etc...

I think one could say it has become an addiction. I've even signed up for a social networking knit and crochet site, Ravelry. Brian called it my "one true love" last night. But it's a productive true love.

Here are some of the things I've created:


London Beanie for Brian that is just a little too small for him.

:(

Approximately 20 pairs of the classic Grandma Troyer Slippers knit in two months. This one is for a Bears fan.

My first sock. It wasn't even that scary. Okay, it was a little scary. And I still need to make the second one...

Fiddlehead Mittens. This was such a fun project. I took a class to make these and they have a cozy alpaca lining. Mmmmm. But I am not going to lie. I am not very functional while wearing these. I have dropped many things while wearing them, one was a large cup of Mountain Dew in our car. Oh well.

I'm currently trying to gear up for some other projects but for now I'm taking a little break and knitting a dishcloth.

Allelujah! The Great Storm is Over

I thought I'd give a little update. It would appear that my medication has kicked in!

Despite:

• It being colder than is reasonable for any human being to endure
• My car being crushed by a giant tree limb last week and it being in the shop until the 24th
• Brian's loan vehicle, a sweet Gary's Mobile Home Sales van, freezing up at work and being back down to one vehicle
• Having to run around to various appointments today

I am in a good mood!!!

It just feels really nice right now to wake up feeling okay - without feeling like the weight of the world is on my feeble shoulders.

So, I'm going to get some work done today, get my house tidied up, and sit on our new couch tonight and enjoy a movie or two with my favorite guys (Reggie and Brian). Tomorrow I learn to knit socks. All is right with the world.

I Quit, I Give Up

If you read my post on Friday, you are aware that it was a rough day. It continued to get worse (with one bright spot that I'm still trying to figure out how to write about here). But the whole week was a real downer, a bonafide bummer of a week.

To continue the horrible Friday. Before going to the grocery store, Brian and I stopped at the post office (to mail letters) and the pharmacy (to pick up my new stupid fluoride toothpaste prescription). We get to the pharmacy and we cannot find the script for the stupid toothpaste. Harsh looks and sighs were exchanged and Brian claimed he never saw the blue piece of paper that was clearly on the top of the stack that I handed him to be in charge of. (To be fair to Brian, it was a huge stack, including bank deposits, car payments, library books, mail, and a prescription script.) Turns out we threw the script in the post office box with the outgoing mail. (The post office called me which I find embarrassing because they now know all about my bad teeth.)

Then we head to the grocery store and they have rearranged the whole goodness-saken' store! The bread is on the opposite side of the store, I can't find the soy sauce, and our shopping cart veers to the left. And clearly the person who is in charge of this overhaul does not enjoy food or anything to do with eating because the store makes no sense whatsoever. It was the wrong day to do that crap to me. Poor Brian worked so hard to get my spirits up. And he was wonderful.

On Saturday, while getting ready to head to my knitting class, I turned on my Coffee House Blend of music to soothe me a little and this song came on. And when it reached the refrain I stood quietly and thought "EXACTLY." It spoke to how emotionally drained I felt, and how tired I can get of trying to get eveything in life right.

I couldn't find a great clip of this song...the video is from the end of a Cold Case Episode and the song is "Circle" by Edie Brickell. (And I know the song is technically about a circle of friends - but I still thought it fit my attitude fairly well.)


But this week I have vowed to turn things around. I have renewed my resolve to remain positive. (As long as the dentist doesn't call me about scheduling an appointment for my molar's coronation.)