Again I am faced with the challenge of summing up an incredible, and full, week of vacation in a way that doesn't bore you to tears and yet captures the essence of our experiences. Costa Rica was wild, amazing, beautiful, and adventurous. Our group of six had an amazing time. This entry will be long. I can feel it already and I warn you of it now. Here goes nothing.
The Players:
An American woman of loose morals who professes her love to strangers on the beach.
Heather Birky
An American woman of loose morals who kept trying to sell herself on the street corner.
An American man who wrangles Costa Rican wild life and enjoys singing Lady Gaga in the shower.
Colin Shafer
An American man who enjoys long walks on the beach - without telling his companions where he's going.
Brian Showalter
An American man who holds on to his rafting oar in any circumstances.
Lisa Showalter
An American woman of loose morals who clearly looks like a pot-head as she was offered a toke from a hippie joint.
Day 1: (a.k.a. The Never Ending Day, Take 1)
The trip begins at 12:00 AM on Sunday as we head to Chicago for our early flight to Costa Rica. Many of us did not sleep due to excitement, even though we knew this would haunt us later. Our flights go off without a hitch (except that Felicia's luggage is lost), we pick up our car, pack in like sardines and begin our 138 mile, five-hour car ride to Manzanillo, Costa Rica. Exhausted and travel-weary, we had no idea what was in store for us.
Manzanillo is literally at the end of the road on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica. To the south of town is a wildlife refuge and then it's Panama. Brian had to adjust to Costa Rican driving (and all of us had to adjust to riding with his adjustments), which involved:
- barely dodging bikers with no reflectors and pedestrians loitering on the streets dressed in dark colors who seemed to dart out in to the black night without warning
- passing slow moving vehicles in no-passing zones
- maneuvering roads that seemed to be more pot hole than road
- being sent airborne - time seemed to stand still as everyone soared through the air at one point, hitting their heads on various vehicle parts.
- the Garmin singing "bing-bing" to warn us of dangerous bridges - bridges that are only one lane and sometimes impossible to see if anyone is coming from the other direction.
Day 2:
The idyllic beach day. The howler monkeys wake us up at 5:30 AM. Dan discovers a sloth in our front tree. Colin goes missing in the morning for a three hour walk down the beach. The rest of us check out the little town of Manzanillo in the daylight. (We spot Colin riding around on a bike later, safe and sound.) The afternoon is spent on the beach where a massive sand-ball fight goes down (which is a rather painful game) and Dan and Brian engage in an endless game of coconut ball. (This is a complex game involving a stick, coconuts, and the ability to dodge shards of exploding coconuts.) Felicia, luggage-less, with the typical loose morals of an American woman, ran down the beach with me topless. (She did have a towel wrapped around her.)
We enjoy a lovely dinner in town and then the gaming begins. Lively games of Catchphrase were enjoyed many a night in our cabina (boys against girls) along with the occasional bout of euchre, rummy, and others. We discover we have a fridge toad. Some try to evict it. Dan believes this is cruel and carries a urinating toad back to the fridge where it belongs.
It rained in the evening. We at rice and beans.
Day 3:
Our zip lining adventure began with a bumpy ride in a bus and then a bumpier ride in the back of a pick-up truck. Some of us were frightened, some of us were not. 23 zip lines, a LOT of uphill hiking, and one Tarzan swing, comprised our morning. I have come to the conclusion that all the guides on these adventure excursions feed off of our fear. They seem to be sort of sick individuals. I wish that I could say that we all kept our language clean for the video that was made, but extreme fear will lead to salty sailor talk. I loved it! In general I think we all enjoyed it to some extent and were glad we did it. However, I don't think everyone will be booking this on their next vacation. When we arrived home Felicia's luggage had arrived! No more topless beach jogging for her!
We discovered at lunch, after struggling with our Spanish all week, that Colin is apparently nearly fluent in Spanish and had been holding out on us. He defended himself saying, "well you guys seemed to be struggling along alright." Seriously?
In the evening we fed a leaf bug to our fridge toad (who we discovered had a wife under there with him).
It rained. We ate rice and beans.
We explored Puerto Viejo and did a little shopping. At lunch Colin discovered his wallet was missing. Here's where things get loopy. We immediately send Colin to search for it while we settle up the bill with the insufferable American ex-pat who owned the place. He thought he may have lost it at a bench we sat on earlier in the morning. The whole gang splits up. (Heather and I begin to worry about our teamwork for the next day's rafting adventure based on our disorganization.) Our group canvasses the little town on a mission for the wallet. I start worrying about how we're going to cancel his credit cards. Heather starts trying to sell herself on the street corner to raise money for the rest of Colin's vacation. Brian finds the wallet in our truck. (Okay, Heather was just trying to signal Dan down the street, but it didn't look good.) Meanwhile, Colin had discovered the wallet was in the truck and started looking for us. He went into a pharmacy and liquor store to see if we were in there. How much do I love that he thought that we would be so unconcerned with our traveling mate losing his wallet in a foreign country that we would just decide to buy some booze and take a load off while he searches.
That night we grilled in. Literally, we grilled in our living room.
It rained. We ate rice and beans.
Day 5:
Rafting the Pacuare River was on the agenda for this day. I had very little trouble zip lining but am terrified of white water rafting. I may be the only person on earth who has been white water rafting four times despite not really enjoying it. Oh but the scenery on this river was amazing, something right out of Jurassic Park. The Pacuare River is ranked as one of the top five in the world to raft. So yeah, pretty neat.
The river was very high from all the rain but we were tackling those rapids like pros, getting down in the boat when in danger, paddling forward and back when called upon. Just as I was coming to terms with rafting, even sort of enjoying myself, disaster struck. It was the last class IV rapid of the day, Dos Montanas, where it went down.

We finished out the day successfully. I might as well tell you that somehow this whole story has been turned on me. While clearly, having stayed in the boat, I am the most skilled rafter in our group, some think otherwise. And in fact have come up with a ridiculous conspiracy theory which involves me and Bernie plotting to get Brian's life insurance money and my leg giving Brian a swift kick out of the boat. I'm sorry that they feel such shame that they have to fabricate stories.
Also, on the ride back to our cabina we were reading the Costa Rica guide book and discovered that many Costa Rican men believe that American women have loose morals. Hmmmm....
It rained. We ate rice and beans...three times.
Day 6:
After our delicious supper the men went to a local poker game (that the owner of our cabina invited them to) at the home of a man who evidently has a $35,000 hit out on his family. It sounds like there were other notorious characters there along with illicit substances. I was glad they made it back home alive.
It rained. We ate rice and beans.
Day 7:
I don't remember if it rained. Surely it did. However, we did not eat rice and beans on this day.
Day 8: (a.k.a. The Never Ending Day, Take II)
Always the hardest day, leaving paradise and heading back to the daily grind. We were up at 5:00 AM and because of snow and wind at home, flights were delayed and we didn't walk in our front door until 8:30 AM the next day. There were calamity and shenanigans the entire time - and then utter exhaustion.
Pura Vida is a Costa Rican expression meaning "pure life." How lucky the six of us were to experience it - at least for those seven days.
1 comment:
Alright, I would like to take this moment to add a few clarifications for those following along. Ahem.
Day 2.) I tried to let everyone know where I went. By the time we rolled up to the Cabina for the first time, I had been up for 40 hours and didn't notice the wind-tunnel effect our open patio produced. Because of that, I didn't weigh down my note Monday morning. Oops. 12km in flipflops wasn't a grand idea, either.
Day 3.) My fluency is way overblown. The exchange Lisa refers to consisted of me holding up silverware, pointing to it, and saying "Uno mas, por favor." Also, I was told that Heather knew Spanish, and would be working as our translator.
Day 4.) The actual order of stops on my wallet search are as follows: Restaurant, to bench (no dice), to car (found the wallet), to restaurant (everyone was gone), to bench, to car, to restaurant (realized we must be circling each other), to liquor store (because they were out and had talked about it during the walk to the original walk to the restaurant), to the car, to the pharmacy (because Heather had mangled her toe while ziplining, and it was in need of attention), to the car, and finally to the bench. Met Brian, Lisa, and Heather heading to the bench from the restaurant.
Day 5.) Lisa totally kicked Brian out of the raft.
Day 6.) Oh God. That fishing trip. 18 ft jonboat in 10 ft swells. 6km east of Manzanillo. Far side of Monkey Point. Dead engine. Drifting. For an hour. Panama in sight. No fish for Brian.
That poker game was one of the most surreal experiences in my life.
Costa Rica was awesome. If I hadn't purchased a house, I would move down, and steal Alejandro's job.
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