Until recently, Brian and I lived in the red light district of Warsaw. A few years after we moved in to our house an establishment opened up a few blocks down the street named, "Dating Dynamics and Exotic Massage." If that doesn't scream HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE, I simply do not know what does. We heard reports of them being busted for soliciting you-know-what, and on several occasions I saw women walking in who, I assume, worked there. I don't think one technically needs thigh-high stiletto boots to enhance a deep tissue massage. Still, I relished the fact that we lived in the red light district. I fancied it our own private Amsterdam.
Sadly, they were busted one too many times. Restrictions were placed on them allowing them to be open only between the hours of 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. Frankly, I don't think much of their business took place during daylight hours. They could not weather the storm. They went out of business, placing a sign on the door asking for help in fighting the powers that be who had obviously, and unfairly, set them up for failure. I was already sentimental, missing the days of secretive and illicit goings-on down the street from my quiet home.
But then, something much better moved in. A JAPANESE MARTIAL ARTS DOJO! Now we have lots of little Taekwondo and Karate studios around town. But a Japanese martial arts dojo! They are sacred and cared for spaces. And it looks so awesome! So as we've been driving by I've been planning which combat skill I'd like to develop. And I've settled on bojutsu, stick combat.
So, I keep on talking to Brian about how I'm going to join the dojo. His response? "I will laugh at you every single day if you join that dojo. You know that don't you?"
Yes, Brian, you will laugh at me every day...UNTIL I LEARN TO KICK YOUR KEISTER!!!!
Then one day, my friend, you shall walk into the house. I will be waiting and will step wordlessly and silently from the shadows of the dining room. My stealth will leave you speechless...with fear. I will be dressed in black (complete with a black band tied around my head), all ninja and crap. And I will be carrying my very large stick. Then, the laughter shall be over for you, sweet Brian. You shall laugh no more.
3 comments:
Take that, Brian! You are still managing to crack me up every time I "read" you. BTw, please tell me you watch The Office? Lisa and Dwight -hanging at the DOJO.
-chris
Those last few paragraphs are a laughing matter. Thanks Lisa and more importantly cousin Brian. 8)
Good grief, you are hilarious. AND I DARE Brian to take you on. I think you could take him. I agree with Chris, I think you would make a great, stealthy partner for Dwight.... Karen
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