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Trying to Live a Life that is Full - and sometimes writing about it ad nauseam.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Unwanted Guest

The end of 2008 found me hosting an unwanted visitor. My old nemesis: Depression.

At first he came around, knocking softly at my door. I told him I didn't want what he was selling, he was unwelcome, and that he should go step in front of a bus.

Then he started pounding at my door during the afternoon and tapping on my windows late at night. He would confront me while I walked from my house to my car. He was a real nag. But I kept my distance and played it cool. I was on to his tricks, my guard was up, and I was determined he would not wear me down and gain a foothold in my home.


Finally, one day, when I wasn't paying attention, he slipped inside while the door was swinging shut behind me. He settled in to stay. And he is a total jerk! Next he snuck in his punk kid-sister, Anxiety. She has no manners whatsoever and demands so much of my attention.

Eventually their cousins, Lethargy and Guilt moved in as well.

I am not happy with this hostile take-over. At all. I can’t get anything done with them running around. I’m miserable. All I want to do is sleep. It feels a little like I have to pretend to be myself right now.

But, I have talked to my doctor and hopefully my “houseguests” will be packing their bags and hitting the road soon.

While I debated sharing this on this blog, I decided it wasn’t healthy to portray myself only as a cheerful, energetic person with no cares in the world. And I thought some of you might like an explanation as to why I haven't really been myself. We all have our demons we battle and this just happens to be one of mine. So I haven’t felt like blogging. Nothing’s been fun or funny in months, it seems. But hopefully I’ll be back to myself before long…and you’ll be wishing I would lay off the blogging already!

2 comments:

The Daniels 6 said...

Oh sister friend, I will be the first one to bid your houseguests a not so fond fairwell...for I know those same smelly, rude, irritating, exhausting guests. Very well! Too well. Praying for you! -c

The Chandler's said...

I also know those guests and don't appreciate them. Miss Anxiety tends to be my "wearing-out-her-welcome" one so hang in there lovey!!! K